WHEN WE ARE WALLED IN

https://mailchi.mp/atkh/all-the-kings-horses-ministry-when-we-are-walled-in?e=592f09b883

Dear friend of All the Kings Horses Ministry,

There is so much we do not know as we grapple with the changes swirling all around us. This is not a time to wrack our brains trying to decipher causes and cures as much as it is a time to pay closer attention to the things we already know. While we didn’t see this Pandemic coming, God certainly did. Our wisest move is to be still, to cease striving, and remember that He is God. He has no sweat on His brow as He looks down. He remains in full control. 

“God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; …
‘Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.’
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold. ” Psalm 46:1-2, 10-11

Written thousands of years ago, God’s Word remains relevant for every situation ever arising in our world. Indeed, there is nothing new under the Sun. Listen to Jeremiah’s sense of hopelessness and despair at being trapped and walled in. His entire life was thwarted, as are many of us who are “sheltering in place” today.  

“In dark places He has made me dwell, Like those who have long been dead.
He has walled me in so that I cannot go out; He has made my chain heavy.
Even when I cry out and call for help, He shuts out my prayer.
He has blocked my ways with hewn stone” … 
He has filled me with bitterness, He has made me drunk with wormwood.
He has broken my teeth with gravel; He has made me cower in the dust.
My soul has been rejected from peace; I have forgotten happiness.
So I say, “My strength has perished, And so has my hope from the Lord.””Lamentations 3:6-9, 15-18

Most of you reading this Newsletter right now have felt at least the temptation toward the hopelessness and despair that Jeremiah felt, isn’t that so? May I be honest enough to disclose to you that this weak servant is in that same boat of dissipated strength and seeming hopelessness as I write these words to you?

We had the makings of a reasonable schedule ongoing for my son Bryson just a few months ago. That schedule has been obliterated. In view of his severe immune system suppression which dates back to the crippling auto-immune attack against his central nervous system after his childhood vaccinations more than 30 years ago, it would be very difficult for Bryson’s body to defeat Covid-19. I know that God can protect him, and I pray for this. I also know that God has called me to be responsible in my efforts to protect him.

I am grateful that our wonderful, government sponsored house-helper, Lindsey, still comes to our home two or three times per week to bring groceries and prepare meals. However, doctors have recommended excluding his paid companions from coming into my home. We have also eliminated his three trips per week to the YMCA for exercise-therapy, his job at Vinny’s Pizzarama, his visits to our local Fire House to hang with some real-life heroes, and his visits to the Ramapo-Bergen Animal Refuge to socialize some caged-in dogs.

All these things disappeared from Bryson’s life, even as March Madness, NBA games and his beloved Yankees have taken sabbatical. Bryson’s simple, impaired mind cannot fully reason these things out, nor adequately process the losses. He most certainly doesn’t understand why his beloved 13 year old support Dog, Dakota, is dying (I doubt she will be around for the next Newsletter). These sudden losses have left my impaired son lonely, upset, and angry. It has also left the two of us all alone, Mano a Mano, in very close quarters. 

In addition to checking him daily for fever, his eyes still need to be treated 12 times per day with anti-rejection, anti-inflammatory meds and steroids, as he continues to battle against potential blindness. In addition, since his exercise regimen at the YMCA has been suspended, his fragile, cerebral-palsied balance has regressed, and he is falling more often. From recent newsletters you know he has been recovering from torn tendons in his wrist and a broken clavicle from separate falling accidents. It is  now more vital than ever to observe him closely as he travels through the house or uses the bathroom.

There is no way to sugar-coat this. My son is taking a pounding. Rarely is there a day now that I am not cleaning up blood and patching him with bandages due to falls. Some of his wounds are self-inflicted as he obsessively shaves the hair off his entire body, head to toe, including his fingers and toes (even his eyebrows). The sadness this evokes within me is hard to describe. 

Some of you recall from my book (or these Newsletters) that I suffer from post-concussion syndrome. I have good days and bad days, both physically and mentally. I’ve come to refer to the lowest days as “Night of the Living Dead” days. While I am grateful for the “good” days (which come without rhyme or reason), Bryson’s dog needs to be carried up the steps in a sling several times per day, and my chronic back issues, replete with applying ice and wearing a brace, have returned. 

As some of you know, I am an old-hand at being debilitated while “sheltering in place,” and at waiting until the mental fog clears and my physical energy returns. But when the lines cross between those “living dead” days and the days when Bryson’s fragile emotions erupt, my goal is to survive, to live and fight another day. There have actually been some of days recently when my hurting son has threatened his dad with physical harm. Any words I could come up with to express how discouraged this makes me feel would fall short. However, this makes me all the more grateful for Jeremiah’s words, which God published in His Word for my benefit, and yours:   

“He has filled me with bitterness, He has made me drunk with wormwood.
He has broken my teeth with gravel; He has made me cower in the dust.
My soul has been rejected from peace; I have forgotten happiness.
So I say, “My strength has perished, And so has my hope from the Lord.” Lamentations 3:17-18

When you think it through, this difficult season of “sheltering in place” has given all of us yet another reminder to cherish God’s Living Word, Jesus. Do you know that Jesus knows all about being walled in? Indeed, far worse than we will ever “shelter in place,” Jesus was literally dead inside a tomb that was carved out of hewn stone, as yet another enormous stone was fastened to the entrance. He was blocked off from life, and seemingly from hope, completely. 

Dear reader of this Newsletter, there is nothing but hope for each one of us now because our Savior was dead, buried and “hopelessly” blocked in. Why? Because Jesus’ story wasn’t over yet, that’s why! And your story isn’t over yet either, as you shelter in place, feeling dead in the water. Not by a long shot!

Do you not know that the greatest stories ever told in this world are those in which it seems there is no hope for victory, and evil is going to win in the end? Do you not know that that this riveting plot is no fictional tale, but flows from the heart of Almighty God? Are you not utterly in awe of our God?

Jesus Christ is meek and compassionate, yes, but He is also a Dread Champion (Jeremiah 20:11) who created the Universe and holds it together by the immensity of His power (Colossians 1:16-17). Nothing can ever defeat Him. When all seemed lost, Jesus arose from the dead to conquer sin and death. He always has the last word, even during a time of pandemic. 

What a joy it is for me, even as I am walled-in here amidst many obstacles, and many personal failures I can assure you, to receive Christ’s power through His grace in my weakness, in order to engage in the Ministry He has entrusted to me. While my live preaching and speaking ministries have been put on hold, my Biblical counseling ministry is busier than ever.

I am “meeting” with broken, hurting individuals each day via phone calls or Google Hangouts (some from various places across the country and even internationally). There have been exciting opportunities to present Jesus Christ to those who do not know Him, and there have been decisions for salvation through the grace of Jesus Christ. My men’s Bible study, on hold for a month, is also now resuming via Google Hangouts. Indeed, some aspects of my Ministry are taking root that would never have come had this pestilence never threatened us all. 

As I close this Newsletter, allow me to turn one more time to our blocked-in friend Jeremiah. At his very lowest point, when he could neither feel nor see any reason to hope, Jeremiah recalled this to his mind: 

“This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope.
The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:21-23

Hope is our legacy as followers of Jesus Christ, as we call to mind His lovingkindness, compassion, faithfulness and His power. God is going to provide a way for each one of us to proceed through this frightening pandemic season. He will be exalted in the earth, His purposes will be fulfilled, and He will be glorified.  

Please know that I am grateful for your prayers and ongoing financial support so that I can continue the Ministry God has entrusted to me of lifting up His Son, and of taking up the privilege of caring for my very special son. 

Please also know it would encourage me greatly if you would purchase my book for someone who needs hope during this time. They will be inspired, and I can promise you they will learn more about Jesus through reading this book. If you do this, please reply to this email to let me know, and I will pray for your friend. Please consider also that I am available to speak with you, or with any of your friends who may be hurting.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1985722151

Thank you. 

Your brother in the battle for Christ, 

Barry Milazzo
All the King’s Horses Ministry